I'm a big fan of the "All Inclusive" holiday once in a while. You don't need to worry about carrying cash around and you have have everything you could ever need for a complete holiday in one place: restaurants, pools, pool bars (especially swim up ones), private beaches, evening entertainment and lots of activities. The thing is, with everyone staying in the one place, you begin to recognise poeple and even, God forbid, socialise with them! This is not usually my choice and I prefer to keep myself to myself but when London Scouser, Old Pa & Ma and I get together on holidays namely at the swim up bar, we seem to attract people. Probably because we are quite obviously enjoying ourselves drinking and taking the piss out of people amongst ourselves. We end up getting involved and get to know a handful of misfits whose real names we cant remember but are given better names.
The last lot who we are still talking about were Scholesy (a fat but very nice northerner who we saw wearing a Scholes football shirt the first day), Previous Previous (a rather annoying woman on holiday with her new beau with a couple of kids from previous relationships) and Elvis & Elvis (an extremely odd looking couple with his and hers Elvis quiffs. I think only one was intentional though). These are people who we would never normally talk to and will never keep in touch with but keep us amused and can contribute to making a memorable holiday.
|I reckon he's having an affair with his brother's wife....|
In the evenings (if you can make it that far), it is the best opportunity for people watching. This is like the cat-walk of Primark and Matalan and damn it, there is someone with the same shirt or dress as you! We sit at the main bar, watching people and discussing what they are probably like and guessing their stories. "Oh they are probably on a wife swapping holiday....that lot look like they've used their injury benefit payout on this 4 star holiday but they are the ones doing paragliding and rock climbing....look at those two, they are not even talking to each other..." I would hate to ever find out what people would be saying about us but at the same time, if it contributes to them having as good a holiday as I normally have doing it, so be it!
I'm not a huge fan of The Beatles but I like a lot of their stuff and appreciate how massive an impact they made on music. Strangely this is one of my favourite tracks because it always reminds me of All Inclusive holidays. I remember the heat of the evening just after it goes dark when all the hotel ground lights ping on. I love the almost weekend buzz feeling as everyone has their shower and gets dolled up after a day in the sun. In the main bar area you either get music playing over the speakers or an inoffensive band with keyboard etc playing a handful of well known songs sang in Spanish accents. This is one of the songs I remember hearing and singing along to whilst we discussed a few chavs at the other side of the room over cocktails. God, I could do with a holiday like that now!
More tasty pinacoladas from me? Click for more SATURDAY NIGHT JUKEBOX here or listen to the Spotify Playlist below!
The Beatles - 'And I Love Her'
4/ 5Oleh Shell Hunter