Wednesday, 6 July 2016

BLUR - Song 2

WEDNESDAY CLUB

A PERFECT 10
A TOBY ONE KENOBI SPECIAL



 
BLUR - SONG (NUMBER) 2 
A PERFECT 10 

Having 3 dogs it is always important that when you take them for a walk you check their poo. If it is runny or too hard or a funny color then you know something is wrong and some action will have to be taken.

I currently have 3 Yorkies. There was Dixie a girl and then Rafa a little boy. Recently we acquired another boy which we found tied to a post one day when I was taking the other two out on one of their daily walks.  We called him Toby, all very original until he morphed into Toby One Kenobi and that gave him a whole new personality.

The trouble with Toby 1 was his poo, they were of galactic proportions for a little dog. He was a bit bigger than the other two but I would take him for a walk and he would do a poo at least a foot long and the scary thing was a few hundred meters down the road he would do another of almost similar size. It was amazing. I wish now I had brought my camera as no one believed me when I told them.

When I first took Toby 1 and one of the other dogs for a walk, I walked passed a school where many people were waiting to pick up their kids. Toby1 stopped right in front of them and produced one of his extra long poos. The trouble  was that they came out just like these soft ice cream machines you see. I immediately got some paper towels out and tried to clean it all up when Rafa got a fright when some kid tried to clap him. He ran round me twice  I lost my footing most of the poo ended up on my trousers and jacket. Rafa squatted and he did a poo.  I was entangled with the two dogs when Toby 1 pulled away stopped in the middle of the road and proceeded to produce another long soft sqirty one.
I was clearly in complete disarray all the people were laughing loud hysterically as if this was a comedy sketch specially put on for their enjoyment. I cleaned up as best I could and turned (tail between my legs) and returned home to clean up.

I will say that after several visits to the vet Toby 1 has had his stomach sorted out and his poos are of manageable proportions now.

Rafa is a different kettle of fish altogether, he has not got time for anything as mundane as pooing. He just wants to run, sniff send and receive emails. Things like pooing he just has not got the time .. Mostly he poos on the move on the run and I have to constantly keep an eye on him just in case I miss a quick drop..  

Every time I take the dogs out now Old Ma on my return always asks  'well?'  I will reply 2 out of 2 or in Toby1's case 3 out 2. I might add some extra information like an 8.5 or a 7. One day I returned and was asked the same question and with a big smile on my face I said Dixie had given me a perfect 10.  It was of good size and color, a slight glint (not hard) and when I picked it up with a paper towel there was not a trace left behind. Now that is a perfect 10 in anybody's book.

Finally on the subject of poo. My pet hate is finding a small plastic bag filled with poo which has not been disposed of properly. You get these 'good citizens' because they see someone is watching them pick up the poo and when not being watched they just throw these bags anywhere. That really gets to me.

By Old Pa

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6 July 2016 at 17:04

I made the great mistake of checking out this post on my phone, while sitting in a very quiet waiting room. I could barely stifle my laughter / gag reflex, depending on which bit I was reading. Toby's poo of galactic proportions is an image forever etched on my brain. Brilliantly written piece Old Pa.

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7 July 2016 at 13:56

TS...hope people did not think you were odd. I will have a word with Toby One Kenobi.

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