WEDNESDAY CLUB - Burning Spear - 'The Fittest of the Fittest'

MIDWEEK CRISIS you feel a bit fat after all that holiday indulgence, come to WEDNESDAY CLUB we've got a rowing machine and Winston Rodney to help you slim!



 

BURNING SPEAR - 'The Fittest of the Fittest' (1983)

You are fat, you finally admit it, it is time to diet and get fit, you know it is right and you know you should have done it long before it has got to this stage. Everything you wear feels tight, that is not you (as you see/imagine yourself) in those Christmas photos.

Time to join a gym, well maybe not! You know what happened last time? You went and met your personal trainer (a babe) and were enthusiastic about the fitness plan, the trouble is you went just 3 times in 6 months and that meant it was costing you over £60 every visit. You tried to cancel immediately but forgot to read the small print, you needed to give 3 months notice. So you went for comfort and ate 2 large bags of crisps and a Pukka pie. To hell with bloody Gyms!!

I remember buying a rowing machine. I thought it would be much cheaper than going to a gym and thought I could do it whilst I watched my favourite TV programmes (Corrie, Newsnight etc etc) it is win win. I am back on the road to fitness I thought !

I never used the damned thing and decided to sell it as it was causing clutter. I advertised it at work. (The Boat That I Row, as sung by Lulu) well you have got to make it appealing. A friend said he wanted it as both his wife and him wanted to lose weight and be fit. 

'Look! you are my friend, don't buy it, you will never use it and it will end up in your garage'. 

I could not tell him and he bought the rowing machine.

A skip yesterday
About 18 months later I said to him how did you get on with the rowing machine? He replied that it was funny I had asked as he had never used it, ever. He gave it to his brother-in-law as he was on a fitness kick. My friend had visited his brother-in-law a few days earlier who was having some home improvements and you will never guess what he saw it in the skip outside of his house???      

I'm the sickest, I'm the sickest, I'm the sickest!  

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7 comments:

The Swede said...

Around 20 years ago, a friend's Dad owned a gym and let me have a heavily discounted membership. I diligently did the 20 mile round trip every morning to sweat buckets before work, for several months and actually felt great! Trouble is, as soon as I went on holiday for two weeks it was over. I never went back. Hence I'm the shape I am now!

Great post and top tune OPC - trust you had a good break?

TS - thanks had great holiday but hard to get back to normal...still craving for some Chang Beer...oh! well San Miguel will have to do...day 1 of diet Monday...'the shape I'm in' theres a song now!!

Singing Bear said...

Good to see you back, OPC. Fabulous tune. I have been thinking very similar things about my own waistline. Those trousers are really starting to bite of late! Must take some action. Good luck with your efforts!

Shell Hunter said...

Very funny post and so true! Love BS and this track has more significance to us than most!

C said...

So funny!
Someone probably saw that rowing machine in the skip too and sneaked out under cover of darkness to claim it for themselves, "WOW! What a lucky find!" And it STILL won't get used...

Btw, I think it's a strange but well-known phenomenon that clothes shrink by a couple of sizes after holidays. Must be to do with the flight conditions or summat.

Happy return!

sfw said...

Brilliant post old pa. Health kick till Xmas? It will never happen!

SB,C,SB,SH - thanks for the comments. I once put somthing in a skip but tied it to a big rock. I would loved to have have seen the look on the their faces as they tried to remove it. Day 1 Monday?

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