Earthling - 'Infinite M'

Recollection Collection......musical memories recalled with affection!

Earthling - Infinite-M (1995)

Sometimes going to Disneyland isn't the fairytale it's all cracked up to be. That is of course, if you are working the trolley onboard Eurostar. I used to work as cabin crew back in the mid 90's and though it was largely enjoyable, trolley detail was most certainly the short straw, especially the journey to Eurodisney. One moment it's working the premium cabin to Paris, serving canapés and 1988 Chateau Lafite to Tori Amos (yes I met her, read about it here) the next it's five carriages of trolley carnage, selling Kit Kats and Um Bongo to groups of school kids vomiting with excitement.

Earthling...looks like it's his 5th trolley detail in a row!

One such memorable journey to Eurodisney saw me tasked with this unenviable duty. The train was full of school trips, I had more than my fair share of trolley duties that month and of course one of the wheels refused to co-operate. That meant when the train was taking bends at 300kph around the French countryside, lugging the trolley at what felt like negative G's, it was tantamount to wrestling a Sherman Tank. I wasn't in the mood. My misery was compounded by the fact that I was working with an overly zealous, overly camp purser whom I affectionately called 'French Terry' (his name was Thierry), who I had previously fallen out with. Service protocol required me to be in a certain carriage at a certain time during the trip to avoid a potential refreshment riot at the buffet car. Due to difficult circumstances, I had failed to meet this requirement much to the visible disappointment of French Terry who came to check on me, branding me, "the slowest trolley dolly he has ever known".

With a sudden and uncharacteristic act of insubordination I shouted, "You scumbag!"

"Get out!" He screamed.

"But we're not at a station." I replied.

"Just get off my train!!" French Terry, getting visibly redder, barked.

"It's not your train though." I retorted, adding more fuel to the fire.

"You're stood down!" and with that he disappeared back down the train.

Those dreaded words meant I was officially relieved of my duties, a bit like a cop handing in his badge and his gun except in this case it was the trolley key and the takings. I was well and truly busted.

On arrival at Eurodisney, French Terry told me to make my own way back to Paris to catch a Eurostar home to London. So, declining a hug from Tigger and friends who were greeting the hordes of children on the platform, I made my way back with my tail between my legs. As it turns out I got a slap on the wrist and told not to call my superiors scumbags and French Terry got reprimanded for lack of due care for leaving a staff member behind enemy lines. Yes!

I see this picture, I start to have a Vietnam style flashback.....eh? Oi! Put that back!

It's amazing how, on hearing a song, it takes you back to an event in your life where you pretty much recall everything. Like Earthling's debut album 'Radar', particularly my favourite track 'Infinite M', will always be synonymous with the above events. As on the journey home from Eurosdisney, this was the album I was listening to on my Discman, soothing me like a 'there there' pat on the back.

Earthling are a Hip Hop act hailing from Bristol (there's a surprise!) and released their debut in 1995. Portishead's Geoff Barrow was also involved in the album providing some unmistakable 'Trip Hop' nuances. I loved it, it was highly original, innovative and brilliantly bizarre, an underrated classic as far as I'm concerned, making up a chunk of the UK's Hip Hop and dance scene's musical DNA. In 2011 they finally released a third album called 'Insomniac's Ball'.

Have a look at what Earthling are doing on their website.

More adventures on Eurostar......

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