Wednesday, 17 April 2013

WEDNESDAY CLUB - James Hunter - 'People Gonna Talk'

Hospital Stories Part 3 of 3

People Gonna Talk!


JAMES HUNTER - People Gonna Talk (2006)

I was into James Hunter at the time,  it was also the time of the World Cup in Germany.

I had just recovered from a foot operation but had picked up and infection, my foot was swelling and I felt pretty bad so I went to the local doctor. She looked at my foot and sent me to the nurse who put a dressing on my foot. My wife was coming over from Spain a few days later on a Friday, I had trouble even driving to meet her. She had to drive back from the airport for me as I was not in too good shape.

We went to see the Nurse that night and when she removed the bandage it was just like Mt Vesuvius, yellow and green puss poured all over her and on to the floor, I have never seen anything like it, the poor nurse was in shock. She called the doctor over and I was sent to the Hospital immediately, apparently I could have died of Septicaemia.

I was put in a ward and it was so unnerving, people moaning, people shitting themselves, the smell, the noise. God! What it must be like to be put in prison in Venezuela!

I promise to be a good boy!

The guy opposite me was old and moaned all the time and when his daughters came to see him, he did not recognise them. They tried to feed him but behaved like a spoiled kid, it was heartbreaking to see. I even thought about going over in the night and smothering him, it seemed like the best option all round.

I don't want to get old!

Two beds down was a guy who shat, in the bed, all the time. The smell! The stink!

I don't want to get old!

I phoned the Private Insurance Company on the Monday, they said they could arrange a private room almost immediately.

(The girl on the phone said ' By the way did you know?  you get £100 a day if you stay in the public ward') .

Wow! £100 a night, I have already suffered 3 nights and my operation to clean up the infection was the next day. Lets go for it!

Seven days later.

The guy opposite died, as did the guy who shat all the time. I experienced another guy next to me who was stabbed on a Saturday night fight, he had also just broke up with his girlfriend. It was like being on the Jeremy Kyle show.

It was the following Friday and the specialist said he had good news, I could go home!.

'But, but you don't understand?  I want to stay!  I am on £100 per night! another weekend would be £1000.

The following week my M.O.T. was due! It cost me £703:11. Well it cost me £3:11.

Sometime it pays to be sick??

More hospital stories? or
The sickest of the sickest, come to the Wednesday Club Ward...

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WEDNESDAY CLUB - James Hunter - 'People Gonna Talk'
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20 April 2013 at 13:26

Oh, OPC, what a tale!
I think the moral of this story (apart from 'don't get old') is don't go to hospital! I would do anything to avoid it if I possibly could. Toooooo depressing!
Glad you're ok - of course - but be extra careful when you cut your toe-nails!