The Bluetones - 'Autophilia'

Saturday Night Jukebox...

Everyone has a guilty pleasure

Has anyone seen my Chas and Dave tape?

The Bluetones got it right about my first car.....

 

The Bluetones - 'Autophilia (or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love My Car)' (2000)

Part 1

Does everyone remember their first car? I used to roll my eyes when my mum used to get all excited when a 2CV rolled by ranting about her first car but now I'm the same. It wasn't until my 18th birthday that I fancied taking to the roads myself and I got driving lessons for it. My mum came home one day and said she drove past the perfect car for me, a 1974 VW beetle. I was infatuated with them from a young age with their cute and friendly bug shape, so lifelike I thought! We went down to take a look and Cupid struck. I was in love! It was bright red, lowered, with fat with a 'PH' wheels, massive chrome bumpers and spoiler. I even loved the cheesy stickers of the word 'Jazz' and a couple of saxophones on the side a previous owner had lovingly placed on. It came complete with black furry dice and a California licence plate! If that wasn't enough, after a test drive the sound was like 100 Harley's cruising down 66, loud and proud, I had to have it! It was a beautiful beast but looks were deceiving, it needed urgent welding surgery to pass it's mot, luckily 'Ginger Barry' down the road was happy to oblige in return for a pint or 2 down the local. I imagined Luke Skywalker the first time he set eyes on the Millennium Falcon in his screechy tone, saying 'what a piece of junk!' and me answering with Han Solo's defensive manor 'She may not look like much kid, but she's got it where it counts!'

Almost as sexy as my Jazzman...

Needless to say, with my incentive now parked on the drive at home, I passed my test first time and was eager to pop my driving cherry to college the following week. I had already painstakingly created a masterpiece for my first car tape knowing full well I would always have a full house being the first of my group to have a car. I also decided to call my car Jazzman, which he was known to all and I spoke to him like he was my best pal. I remember getting behind the wheel of Jazzman for the first time, adjusting the mirror and seat, ejecting the Chas and Dave greatest hits tape that was already in the cassette player from when we bought it and excitedly putting in my own mega mix. I was not a bit nervous, driving was not like the panicky, sweaty driving lessons but I felt free and blissfully independent! Off I went and how the people stared as I drove by! You could hear me coming a mile away and I was now part of an elite club. Fellow beetle owners would knowingly wave and nod as we passed each other on the road. I had arrived!

Come back next week for Part 2..........

Have a listen to my gulty pleasures playlist!