Wednesday, 5 February 2014

The Band - 'The Weight' / Bob Dylan - 'The Ballad of a Thin Man'


The Never Ending Diet (Tour 1)
I lost a pound!


THE BAND - The Weight

I was about twenty when I went on my first diet. It was not that I was fat or anything, it was that I just wanted to be slimmer. In the late sixties it was all tight tapered shirts and skinny topped jeans. I went on the great rage of its day the Scarsdale Diet.

I stopped sugar in my tea and coffee and never went back to it. I lost weight and after about a month I was bang on my target goal.  It was easy in these days to loose weight.

Ever since that first diet I have gone up and down weight at regular intervals, I never really became over weight but was never really slim. It had became a way of life.

I have done them all the Scarsdale, The Soup Diet, the Atkins diet, The Beverley Hills diet. You name it I have probably done it at sometime.

I could tell you the calorie content of a peanut or even a witchity grub. Or even how much 30 minutes of cycling would be in calorie loss. Or even 30 seconds of shagging.

It was only when I came back from being abroad in the early nineties that I started to put weight on and over the past few years went up to my peak of  119kilos. At my lowest I would have been 77kilos. Quite a big difference. My height is 6 foot. I kept trying to loose weight during this period but it was really hopeless. My big catch phrase was 'Day one Monday'. There was always a day 1 Monday.

I have been called it all :

'you're fat', 'you will never lose weight', 'you have destroyed your looks'. I even asked people at work to insult me, just to get me going. 'Call me a fat bastard' I said.  'You fat bastard', 'You fat bastard!'

Soon I will tell you how to lose weigh without any pain, by doing my own diet devised after over 45 years of experience. I may even write a book about it, because it works and is currently working.

All you fat bastards out there check out The Never Ending Diet (Tour 2) coming soon.

It may change your life.

Two great selections here,  first is the fabulous The Weight by The Band and an incendiary live version Dylan's scary Ballad of a Thin Man.


BOB DYLAN - Ballad of a Thin Man

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The Band - 'The Weight' / Bob Dylan - 'The Ballad of a Thin Man'
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5 February 2014 at 11:00

Brilliant, Old Pa - we want to know your secret and you need to write that book (this time next year you'll be a millionaire).

(And... I just have to ask, seeing as you mentioned it... 30 seconds of shagging?! I could do with a losing a few pounds.)

5 February 2014 at 11:29

C - thanks....first, if I am a millionaire this time next year, you are in for a 10% shagging...I must stress it really depends upont the 'factor'. I believe there is a formula, which involves weight,speed,location and of luck with that few pounds.

5 February 2014 at 19:33

When I was younger, all I had to do was stop drinking alcohol for a couple of weeks and the pounds would drop away. Now that I drink a fraction of what I used to I have nothing to give up in order to trim down a bit. I await part two and the secret of your success with baited breath!

6 February 2014 at 09:58

The poor kids I say. For as long as I know you've been on a diet even when you don't need to be on a diet. All your bloody diets, the self motivating 'Diet Pack', reward yourself with a sticker for reaching a target. The 'Elvis Diet-It's Now Or Never', I've heard them all. I don't follow fashion fads, neither do I want a six pack, I eat what I want and I'm not fat or skinny, I break about even. I'm careful but the silver bullet is exercise, something I do regularly.

6 February 2014 at 11:53

Life's too short...why go through purgatory. CHIPS!!!!