Thursday, 19 June 2014


I don't know about you but I'm really enjoying the World Cup but what about Football songs...they're tragic aren't they? Or are they? Here's a selection.....that are more Lionel Messi than Colin Hendry! 

Do you have any favourite football tracks?'s ok you can admit it, let us know!!

Primal Scream/Irvine Welsh - 'The Big Man and The Scream Team Meet the Barmy Army Uptown' (1996)

It's so nice that Scotland are not in World Cup, the idea of having to go through the guaranteed 270 minutes of agony the group games have to offer is far too gruelling for my constitution. It's only after they have been unceremoniously dumped out of the tournament in heroic failure, that you start to relax and enjoy the footballing spectacle!

It was Euro 1996, Scoltand were in it and more importantly I would get to experience my first taste of a classic clash with the Auld Enemy, as England were in the same group. Leading up to the big day, my English girlfriend at the time and I would wind each other up to the point where it would end up in a heated argument about our respective nations, despite her being a big fan of Mel Gibson's exploits. She'd play '3 Lions' and England's 30 years of supposed hurt and I had this Scud missile of a record to take it out from Primal Scream, a superb Rock/Dub number with author Irvine Welsh's rant over it (when the guitars come in around The big day came with the inevitable big match nerves so it was a bit of a boozy affair to say the least. Predictably England took the lead but soon after Scotland found a way back in and were awarded a penalty, this was the moment!!! Then it all went to shit, in a helicopter high above Wembley stadium, Uri bloody Geller moved the ball and Gary Mcallister missed the spot kick, a sickener. From the resulting goal kick, Gazza went on to score 'that goal', flicking the ball over Colin Hendry's massive heed to net an incredible goal, one which I still haven't recovered from to this very day. Disgusted, I just ran out the house and headed to our local park to escape the banter from my girlfriend, only to be found by an eventual search party, crashed out in a drunken heap, draped in my Rampant Lion flag.

Frankie Valli - Can't Take My Eyes Off You

Can't Take My Eyes Off You? - Football? What's the link? Back in 1993, the BBC used this song when promoting the Welsh Football teams during the qualifying rounds for the 1994 World Cup. It quickly became the unofficial anthem of the Welsh Football Supporters. 

We thought we had it all! Old heads (Ian Rush, Neville Southall) and young talent in the form of Ryan Giggs and Gary Speed. We were second in the group and it all came down to the final match where Wales had to play Romania in Cardiff.  It was 1-1 at 63 minutes when Wales were awarded a Penalty, but Paul Bodin (Who? I know) smashed the ball against the cross bar.  Romania ended up winning 2-1 and qualified! I still remember it!

Wales have only qualified for one major tournament  - The World Cup in Sweden 1958, when coincidently a young Brazilian called 'Pele' knocked them out! 

In 2011, Stereophonics singer Kelly Jones sang an acoustic version of the song in tribute to the former Wales Manager Gary Speed who sadly committed suicide.

Shell Hunter:-
Fat Les - Vindaloo (1998)

What are football songs all about? To me, they've got to be something that gets the crowd all riled up and something they'll enjoy singing along to. Forget all the soppy crap, it's got to be straight to the point! Vindaloo has it, synonymous to the stereotypical English lad..."I want to hottest thing on the menu, get me a Vindaloo!!" Its got the crowd pleasing factor, easy lyrics and sounds fantastic when shouted at the top of your lungs in a pub full of drunken revellers(especially if England did win). Sadly I think this style of song was the last of it's kind in quality and will always be up there with New Order and The Lightning Seeds. There are some great characters in the video, my favourites being the pissed tart and the weirdo with the bald wig that walks like Mick Jagger!

Old Pa's Corner :-
Rod Stewart - Ole Ola! (1978)

If it was a quiz question I would definitely remember the year 1978, It was World Cup year and Scotland had already won the World Cup, well according to the manager Ally McLeod that is.

I was at a wedding in Inverness and me along with another 100 or so celebrating fans gathered round a small TV for Scotland's first game. Rod Stewart's Ole Ola! was playing loud. It was Fiesta time, whiskey time!. A time to celebrate this great Scottish world class, all conqueing team. (Scotland were 40 to 1 on to win this game with some bookies, unbelievable odds).

There was no regard to the break up of the wedding, amongst the tears and the  'how could you spoil Morag's big day', and  'it will never last'.

Fourteen minutes into the game, Jo Jordon is through on his own, GOAL !  Scotland 1 Peru 0, we are on our way. World Champions! Scotland! it tasted good!

Eighty Minutes later the score read, Scotland 1 Peru 3, a certain 'Cubillas' spoiled the party, it was his fault the wedding was a disaster. It was his fault Scotland lost, whiskey time. It was his fault I had a raging hangover the next day.

The dream was over before it had began. Three weeks later a Nation's confidence was brought to it's knees and has never fully recovered.  Not even  Proud Edward's army  had achieved that. We thought we were invincible, a small Nation that could compete with the Big Boys. Sadly we now know our place.  (Thank God for Andy Murray and Robbie Burns and Scotch Whiskey)
The Dream is well and truly over for the last 34 years

Come on England! Ole Ola! I hope you don't suffer the same fate. Nobody deserves that, not even an England supporter.

Arrivederci it's one on one!! Check out more Tune Doctor Special Operations here....

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18 June 2012 at 09:59

FC - must be the greatest ever football song (along with the b side)...beleve me every word is so true...I remember that day so well, the build up in the White Hart bloody Gazza another nail in my very fragile Scottish football heart.
SFW - thats an interesting one did not know that story
SH - what can you say! you either like curry or you dont! Hotter the better!

18 June 2012 at 12:07

Utterly priceless post, my friends. It's hard to argue with 'Too Good To Be True' (I was a regular at the Arms Park and Millennium Stadium for football when this was at its peak). New Order did pretty well for Italia '90 but will 'Back Home' ever be bettered? I doubt it. As for the current England team, I'm not getting excited; once we have to play Spain or Germany (if we're lucky), that's our lot. Is it only me who thinks there was a massive element of luck with Danny Welbeck's goal? The hype has started already.

18 June 2012 at 13:23

Thanks SB....the problem with England is the media, before a tournament The expectation is for England to win it, if things go wrong they will venomously attack the team. The difference this time is the media has laid off and I hope they continue as England seem to be quietly doing well however nerve shredding. As for Wellbeck, I think it was meant, try that 9 times out of 10 and he may not have pulled it off. Right time right place and a bit of luck and it's about time England have some luck!!!

18 June 2012 at 14:23

SB - Talking about luck...was watching US open Golf last night Lee Westwood(Brit) was well in contention...hit drive the ball came down in a tree and stayed up there (what are the chances of that?) 2 lost strokes, his chance gone. Bad luck???

18 June 2012 at 21:04

Can't comment on the footy as it means nowt to me, but surely an honourable mention should go to Black Grape's 'England's Irie', purely for the fact that it resulted in Joe Strummer's one & only TOTP appearance.

The guy in the bald wig in the Fat Les video is impersonating Max Wall - one for your older readers!

19 June 2012 at 11:27

Sfw, I remember watching that Welsh game....Paul Bodin missing that penalty was a tragedy. As for Scotland 78, I can't believe they actually thought they were out to win it! No wonder we're a laughing stock. Very funny post though and can just imagine it, 78 though....Archie Gemmil!!

Not one for novelty records but Vindaloo was pretty funny, great video too. You're right, an absolute crowd pleaser.

20 June 2012 at 18:21

Three Lions anybody ??? I guess it's been played to death, but it was great wasn't it. I also remember Chris Evans played a song called "We're on the ball" which was a great listen. I think Ant & Dec covered it badly a few years back too