Wednesday, 18 May 2016

Chris Rea - Wired to the Moon

WEDNESDAY CLUB


Seen and not heard...

Lord of the Manor



CHRIS REA - Wired to the Moon


WARNING - It must be known that in the making of this post, it was not the intention to upset or injure any party. No dogs, horses or any living creature was hurt in any way.

When I was growing up the great saying was you should be 'seen and not heard'. That was the way it was. Kids did not have any rights in these days. A smack if you were naughty was normal and expected.  Saying that, my father took his belt of to me once when I was about seven, he did not use it I may add, but it was a severe warning.

The only other time he tried to hit me was when I was a teen. I can't remember the reason but I managed to get my foot behind him and down he went. I did a runner and did not come home until late that night. I was expecting the worst but nothing happened and nothing was ever said about the incident.

I don't remember ever my parents playing with me. You were expected to just get on with it and you did. My parents never ever came to watch me playing sport, even although I was successful. For some reason I did not even expect it and was not upset or anything.

My father was old school, he worked and my mother stayed at home. He went out a lot but never with my mother. I was never in a restaurant until my late teens and when I did it was a nerve racking experience. I did not know how to conduct myself.

All these things did not affect me too much when I look back. It was just the way it was in these days..

One thing I wanted to do if I had kids was to be transparent. I would not hide anything from them. I would involve them in all things relating to my life. Warts and all.

I stuck to this whether it was a good policy or not. My kids became more a friend than me their dad. In fact I would much prefer to have an evening out with them than people of my own age.

I remember once I took my parents to Nice and my son was only in his first year.  It was quite something seeing how my mother, Old Ma's mother and Old Ma had all different ideas of what should be done when a situation occurred. I had to step in and say that this is our way, this is our chance.  We appreciate your help, but we will do it our way.

Both Old Ma and me agreed we would let our kids do it their way and only try and offer advice if asked.

I am not saying our way was the correct way, but we got there. I am proud of both of my kids, they have never let me or themselves down in anything they have done.

I made an observation to a friend that things have change dramatically. Nowadays, it is the parents who are  'seen and not heard'.  Everything revolves around the kids. Parents do not seem to have any time for themselves, because the kid are making demands on their time, all the time.

There has to be outings, clubs, sport,  every available second has to used up to entertain the kid.
I am not saying that this is wrong and I am sure this will all be to the benefit of the kid in their future. But maybe kids should get used to entertaining themselves and give these tired exhausted parents, who nowadays both have to work. Give them more time for their own needs and each other.

Things have got out of hand. I remember recently going to watch my grandson go swimming. I was about to take some pictures when in a panic I was told not to. Bloody hell what is going on?.

Parents can't even go into play areas to watch their kids. I suppose sitting on Santa's lap will be a defo no go.

They make you feel guilty, it is not right.

I personally hit my son and daughter both only once. Not too hard. It served as a deterrent and a loud menacing voice was all that was required in the futre.

You only get one chance and you can only do your best. Above is only an observation but others of my age agree.

by Old Pa

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19 May 2016 at 07:57

I don't have any kids, but some of my friends who I've known since childhood did go on to have families. It makes me smile to hear them saying the very things to their kids that their parents said to them all those years ago - things that used to annoy them so much. 'Where are you going?' 'When will you be home?' 'You're not going out dressed like that are you?' 'How are you going to get home?' 'Who else is going to be there?' And they wonder why their teenage kids get stroppy with them. 'I never spoke to my parents like that...' That's when I feel like popping my head up and saying 'Hang on a minute...yes you did!'

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22 May 2016 at 16:06

Things are certainly different from those days, that's for sure and I'm sure you were affected in different ways, whether you know it or not, as you grew up. Both Sophie and I work and although children are all consuming, we do have very little quality time with them. All I want is the best for them and to raise them well (and Max to skate!) I believe I was brought up well, both you and Old Ma were honest as you say and nothing was really hidden, whether or not that right or wrong, you can only go with your instincts.

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