Wednesday, 5 April 2017

The Teardrop Explodes - Bouncing Babies





Wee Johnny was about maybe 5 foot 4 or 5. I met him when I played football in Jeddah for a few years. He wasn't very good., he was the guy who was always picked last when the teams were being chosen. The skins  (bare back) and the shirts  (the ones who were not bare back).  He usually always ended up in goal just like the weak kid in glasses in school who everyone picked on. But you would not pick on wee Johnny, he came from Glasgow, Maryhill and he was as hard as  girders  .wee Johnny called a spade a spade and a shovel was a shovel. You did not mess with
Wee Johnny

The football was all about the social with wee Johnny he love the  apres they say in France. Every Monday we took turns in hosting all the guys round to your bar for drinks which you had homemade and built up your stocks for the occasion. Usually there was something to eat like sandwiches or Spag bowl. When it was my turn I prepared some  stovies  It usually lasted about a couple of hours when the sensible lads returned to their families. There were always the bachelors and hard core drinkers left and always wee Johnny. How did I know?. Work it out. Wee Johnny was always the last to go. He was great company and had a good dry Glasgow sense
of humour. He talked exactly how you would imagine a Glasgow guy to talk
'see yooo Jimmy, al stick ma heed in ya, just get me a pint a heavy for fook sake.'

I must tell you this little story about the time wee Johnny and a few mates went Athens for a long week-end. They arrive from the dry Saudia flight and after checking into their Hotel went of course out to have a good bevy. They passed this club and were welcomed in by a pretty bar girl and were let to a table. Immediately bottles of champagne were brought to the table. They were having a great old time, some other bar girls had joined them and the champagne was flowing. Suddenly one of the guys said,  'wait a minute, how much is this costing'.  Well they got the bill and it was about £1000, allot of money in those days. They were discussing what to do when one of the guys nipped of to the loo he was accosted by two big ape like guys with white shirts and bow ties. One held him while the other gave him a couple of good punches in the guts. He returned in stress and told the other guys. The two apes and another two gorillas appeared and stood arms folded menacingly close. Wee Johnny made the decision that he was going to fight his way out.  Al have the Bastards  He was persuaded to just pay up and learn from the experience..

Anyway they paid up and the final indignity a Bar girl came with a complimentary bottle of champagne for their good custom. If you are reading this I hope you learn and always ask the cost of a drink in a strange bar or club and if possible pay after each round. Do the same with Taxies always ask the price. Good memories wee Johnny.  See Yooo!

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